Are quiet children better?

Pet peeve: parenting that is rated upon how unintrusive one's children are in any situation in life.

Children have a right to exist--in fact they are essential to the future of our economy and our world. Adults are not the only people who matter on this planet.

How do you achieve completely compliant children who never make noise without abusing them? I can't find a credible source that would suggest this is possible, let alone achievable or desirable.

Children need to be safe--to explore, to express themselves. They also need to be raised to know that some places require being quiet or proper manners. But they also are allowed to exist. Especially in their own home.

If you come to my home and my children make noise--it's because they feel loved and safe. It's because they are human.

To those who think children should always be seen but not heard--I would suggest you either have a generalised amnesia regarding your own childhood or you did not have the right to exist as a human being in your own home during your youth. Don't force that upon another child.

EV Ownership: Divided by a Common Language (US vs UK)

Before I go into ownership experience and costs, I thought it would be helpful to lay some groundwork for terminology.

Browsing facebook, forums, youtube, twitter, etc. one begins to see that there is a general confusion between people who DO understand the subject matter, simply because they live in different countries. I want to address this before diving into helping those who have no background in EVs understand the concepts and to provide a reference generally.

The biggest points of confusion? What is 'fast charging' and what do we call various levels (or speeds) or AC charging. 

Additionally, it's worth pointing out that in North America, all chargers come WITH a tethered cable. In Europe, AC chargers may come with or without, leading to tethered (with cable) and untethered (without cable, bring your own) options. DC charging in Europe always has the cable tethered to the charger, same as in North America.

Here's a handy chart that I've created as a basic explanation. The specifics do vary slightly by country.

I've also ignored Tesla entirely: for the simple reason that they aren't consistent globally and are an exception to the rest of the industry. Tesla use a proprietary plug in North America, but use a modified Type 2 plug on older vehicles in Europe, shifting to CCS2 for newer Model 3/7 vehicles. As a result, there are 3 different types of plugs that Tesla may use for AC or DC charging and there may be more than one implementation within a market. Furthermore Tesla use a single wire can (SWCAN) communication protocol, rather than J1772, CHAdeMO, or CCS (Homeplug Green Phy, aka Powerline Ethernet), although their AC chargers can (if configured correctly) fall back onto J1772.

So let's get started here: portable charging:

North America

• 120 volts AC 60 hz
• 8-15 amps
• up to 2 kW
• This cable probably came with your car and can be plugged into an ordinary wall socket/receptacle. 
• J1772 connector (Type 1)
• Known as 'Level 1' 

United Kingdom

• 230 volts AC +/- 15% (realistically 240-245v) 50 hz 
•  8-10 amps (if you use a wall socket at 13 amps, prepare to melt your plug)
• 1.8-3 kW
• Connector
• Usually Type 2 Connector (with equivalent to J1772 signalling)
• Sometimes J1772 connector (Type 1)
• Known as a 'Granny Cable'

You'll notice that using a granny cable in the UK is not dissimilar from Level 2 speeds in North America. That's why there is a continual debate as to whether or not people should just charge off a wall socket for convenience and cost, or if a dedicated hard-wired charger is a safety requirement.

Moving on to AC charging with fixed, wall or post mounted chargers:

North America

• 220 volts 60 hz
• 16-80 amps
• Single phase
• J1772 connector (Type 1)
• 3-20 kW
• Known as 'Level 2'

United Kingdom 

AC charging in the UK is more complicated, because several vehicles can use 3-phase charging. This includes Tesla, Renault, Vauxhaul, etc. When this happens, more power can be delivered with lower amps, which is why when we get to our higher speed charging, there will be an AC option alongside DC.

•  230 volts AC +/- 15% (realistically 240-245v) 50 hz
• 16-32 amps (it's unusual to have a considerably higher amp rating... usually 11kW+ is 3 phase)
• Single or Three Phase AC
• Connector
• Usually Type 2 Connector (with equivalent to J1772 signalling)
• Sometimes J1772 connector (Type 1)
• Known as 'Slow Charging' if less than 6 kW (typically below 25 amps), 'Fast charging if 7kW or faster (26-32 kW)

The fastest, most rapid charging speeds:

North America

• 350-1000+ volts DC
• 25-500+ amps (can vary by standard)
• CCS1 or CHAdeMO
• Known as 'Fast charging', 'DCFC', 'DC Fast Charging', or 'Level 3'

United Kingdom 

There's a slight AC exception in this category, that essentially caters to 1 vehicle: Renault Zoe.

• 230 volts AC +/- 15% (realistically 240-245v) 50 hz
• Three phase
• 64 amps
• 43 kW
• Type-2 Connector
• Known as 'Rapid AC Charging'

Most people would use a DC option, however!

• 350-1000+ volts DC
• 25-500+ amps (can vary by standard)
• CCS2 or CHAdeMO
• Known as 'Rapid Charging', 'Ultra Rapid Charging' (if over 100kW), 'DC charging'

Bonus terms!

• A place to stop at the side of a motorway or highway
• North America: Rest Stop
• United Kingdom: Motorway Services Area (MSA)
• A physical brake to keep car from moving when parked
• North America: Emergency Brake
• United Kingdom: Hand Brake

The Necessity of Children and Optimism

Children are an interesting topic, because they are divisive often for completely unrelated reasons. Within families or social groups there might be the pressure to have more children regardless of taking into account the wishes of said people who could make a child; on the contrary, there are a litany of reasons why one might not want to have children.  These range from general annoyance to a question about the future of the planet.

We live in very interesting times, with threats of global warming and war. With injustice running rampant in our communities and a question of what world might follow us on. A world which I worry is made worse by a fatalism that we might be unable to prevent the destruction and end of life as we know it. It's why some focus on the afterlife and others the possibility of colonising other planets.

We also face the question of economic justice: is the middle class being erased because of a lack of childcare funding? Will we end up with only those who qualify for benefits and the uber rich being able to procreate? Is the Musk family view that we should spread the genes of the 'intelligent' a new form of eugenics? Is having children in the first place just fundamentally selfish?

I would argue that we must balance several factors here. Firstly, humanity has been in a constant fear that we live in the worst times--a state of coming doom or apocalypse for a variety of reasons. This gives me faith, not that the end is near or inevitable--though they may be; but that our very existence today on this planet is a sign that we are sufficiently resourceful to find new ways of living that will make it possible to go on. 

There are some people who feel as though the world is overpopulated and that we cannot sustain a larger population due to overcrowding or a lack of food or perhaps resource utilisation. I even had a friend who suggested that Hitler and Stalin were trying to save the world by killing as many people as they did during WWII, a theory that I find completely implausible as well as shockingly repugnant.

What I believe is that through technology we will find better farming techniques, we will find sustainable ways of living and travel. These will enable our children and their children to continue to travel and meet other cultures whilst also adapting to a world where we must consciously share resources and use them judiciously.

My greatest fear now, is not overpopulation, but rather than we fall for a fatalism that the multinational corporations that feed on greed and pollute our planet are unstoppable and that profit is the only master. It's as if we've missed the devil's own hand in our undoing.

It may be that the seas rise or the climate changes, but even then, I believe we will adapt. We will learn to build dikes like the dutch, we will build higher, we will find ways to remove carbon from the air, we will do whatever it takes. But this will only happen if we care. And it only makes sense to care if there are humans who will be here after us to take care of this gift we've been given.

Life in my view is not merely our immediate enjoyment. Although we live in the present, my goal is to live in community and build for the future, a future that our children will build after us as well. If our children do not exist, it may be that the solutions, technologies, and causes that will address challenges in our world will never be addressed.

This is why the view that children are annoying and should be kept out of sight or that we should force them into outward compliance to avoid bother is abusive and actually ruining our future. We should teach our children every day to be well-mannered and brilliant, but it requires them to be involved, not distant. It requires us to give up our resources, our time, our comfort. It's a selflessness to give of ourselves to the next generation rather than to decry their existence that will save our planet.

This is not to say that everyone should have children. If you don't believe you are the right person, I would ask that you help those around you who have embarked on the journey--when a child stops in the street and blurts out an inane question, that you inspire them and give them wisdom. All the world really needs is for us to care. 

For those who do want their own children, I ask that you don't fall to the fatalism that would keep you from this journey, this journey that will cost you your freedom to party and do as you will with your life every moment, this journey that asks you to lay down your immediate wants and to invest in your longer dreams, the dreams only your children can realise. 

For those who want children but cannot have their own for whatever reason, I ask that you see if you can be the light in the life of a child who has already been born into this world. Whether that's just helping in your community or being a good neighbour, or if it's fostering or adopting.

We will solve the challenges of the future, but it might not be our generation that finds the answers. Let's make sure we love and give confidence to the generations who may find the answers for us. Those who will also in turn grow our economy and pay for our retirement, those who will find a way to right the wrongs of our ancestors and to deal with the debts of the past that harm the present and the future.

Logic and the Path to Electrification

April 2022, Using Tesla Public Supercharger Pilot Programme in France

Something I’ve realised over the years is that people do not actually apply logic in their daily lives. We are typically too busy to consider the full ramifications of each habit and it becomes simpler just to accept that the way we’ve grown accustomed to doing things as individuals or any other level such as society as a whole must just be normal.

Periodically, someone will come and challenge the status quo and offer a different view. This will usually trigger a whole bunch of hand flailing and complaints that the world is being ruined. Conversely, another group may realise our habits and therefore our inaction may be ruining the continued existence of our world.

What usually then happens is that people fall into tribal factions, where the concept of using logic is short-circuited by the efficiency of just confirming what the peers in their group also think, which is often set by vested interests, rather than based an actual net benefit to the community.

In order to further prevent change, conspiracy theories then begin to proliferate. Disinformation campaigns, even completely astroturfing campaigns arise, where paid imaginary people influence laws and public consciousness, either in town halls and legislative arenas or simply on your personal social media, such as Facebook or twitter.

Some issues are understandably difficult to determine where the facts lie, when the concepts underlying them cannot be broken down and misleading information is propagated. For example: it’s difficult to convince people as to how the climate is changing and assuming it is, whether or not any human activity could change that.

What to me is less difficult to understand is the direct impact on the air and water that we breathe from pollution. Additionally, the costs we pay for things like fuel can actually be calculated. These are not up for debate, but most people actually have zero idea how much anything costs until they see a monolithic bill come in the mail.

Right now, I believe we are at a golden moment of opportunity for moving away from fossil fuels, something consumers and investors both stand to benefit from. The only downsides are if you’ve invested heavily in fossil fuel industries.

My decade-old EV charging in Belgium, driven from London

I’ll be discussing my love of electric vehicles here in more detail later, I’ll explain what it’s like to own an EV, what it’s like to own an EV that’s even over 10 years old. If you’ve only read things in tabloids or seen a bunch of worrisome items, where you think, ‘that sounds right, did anyone think of x’, don’t worry—there’s probably an answer for it.

There are some people who will not benefit financially from an EV for now, but I would argue that’s an increasingly smaller minority of people, when you start objectively looking at the data for the air we breathe and the wallet in your pocket. 

You don’t even need to care whether or not the ocean might rise, everyone can understand getting asthma or seeing the Gulf of Mexico covered in crude oil are bad things. Saving hundreds or thousands a year in your bank account is also something that most people would objectively like as well. And if you’ve seen recent articles suggesting you won’t save money? Don’t worry, we’ll discuss that too!

What is the Meaning of Legacy?

Some of you may have traced your family lineage or have had it done for you. Many would appear to consider this frivolous and yet others become oddly obsessed with the project. If you know a person in your circle who has an interesting ancestor or relative, you've probably felt as though been told too many stories about them at some point. I've often been guilty of too many retellings, but I hope you'll stick with me because I have a few thoughts this all leads to at the end.

George Washington and Christopher Gist crossing the Allegheny River (Museum exhibit, Mount Vernon)

In my family, many of us share the 'Gist' surname as a middle name. My grandmother, aunt, cousins, myself, even my son all have this same middle name. The big reason for this, is our family hero, Christopher Gist. Christopher Gist became friends with George Washington and may have saved his life when Washington was sent to demand the French leave Ohio by Governor Dinwiddie of Virginia. This friendship persisted until Gist's death. 

Author with portrait of Brigadier General Mordecai Gist
Office of Maryland Governor Martin O'Malley, 2010

What isn't always as well known within the family, is the Gists were involved in plenty of other interesting activities. Whether it was commanding some impressive units in the revolution (Brigadier General Mordecai Gist), starting the civil war (Governor William Henry Gist, South Carolina) or keeping West Virginia in the Union (Joseph Christopher Gist, W.Va. State Senator 1861). There's even the idea that Sequoyah, the man who invented the Cherokee alphabet was also known as George Gist and may be a cousin. Invariably, there are plenty more people who have done interesting things, and a special mention is worth for our cousins the Blairs and the Lees. (Notably, Montgomery Blair was Lincoln's Postmaster General and Blair Lee III was both Lieutenant Governor and Acting Governor of Maryland as well as having served in other offices.) 

Bruce Lee, Justin Gist Preuninger, Robert Lee

I had the privilege of meeting some of the descendants of the Blair/Lee cousins, because when I was working in Silver Spring, it transpired they owned the building I worked in. I like to say the story is that I noticed the street names in the area matched my genealogy and I approached their receptionist to ask about it and instead of rejecting this sort of odd question, she introduced me to Blair Lee IV. 

My grandmother, aunt, and uncle returned to America after World War II on this ship.

All of this is a short history of some of the highlights, but frankly the stories go on and on. As I explore the journey that my ancestors and our relatives took, we've been on both sides of many great conflicts. There have been many thinkers and intellectuals such as my grandfather who had a doctorate in German language; even my father did his masters in German language, but ended up working in the aviation industry instead of academia, which actually was incredibly educational to my upbringing because I was able to travel internationally nearly every year growing up.

Champollion 200 Year Anniversary Exhibit
Louvre, Lens (France) 2022

When I consider all of this, I think it's something that has helped me to connect with history, but also appreciate my place in history. It's also sometimes a bit confusing how some people react to bits and pieces. I'm also a French citizen, through my mother, and speak fluent French. Recently I was in France, at the Louvre in Lens (an extension of the Paris museum) for the 200 year anniversary Champollion exhibit regarding decipherment of hieroglyphics and I was having a conversation with a woman in the children's media area whilst our children were doing activities. What was interesting, is as much pride as I have in the history I come from, I think we are all human and we all have our own choices and path to make. And when I suggested that anything is possible, she responded and said that I could only have that attitude because I came from a 'great family'. 

And this is the point I wanted to make here. Legacy can inform the future from the past, but it cannot take the place of our own initiative. It provides the inspiration and perhaps the encouragement for great things... but it cannot be everything. We cannot simply accept that because our family and our ancestors were interesting, or even on the contrary might have been boring, that our life must be limited to a particular path. We should not say, because of the actions of our ancestors, our choices are limited or that we no longer need to put effort into our own story.

It's also something I think about even more clearly with the recent deaths of several family members, both close relatives and cousins that makes me think about my everyday actions. In so much of life, my experience is that I am waiting for something to get better... a relationship, my bank account, a job situation, etc. And whilst I am waiting, my life is escaping me. As the scripture says, in Ephesians 5:15, we must be "redeeming the time, because the days are evil." (KJV) 

Somewhere I recently saw a meme that said tradition is, 'listening to peer pressure from dead people,' and I think this is also an angle to consider. Our ancestors likely did not become great by being simply average; if they distinguished themselves beyond their family, it is because they took risks. But as a parent, it's also a question of how I live out my story and how I impart the legacy to inspire the next generations. I want my children to look at my passions and interests and find what brings them joy and what helps their community--much how I've looked at my father's lessons on discovering how machines and technology work and how to identify the best value for my money. Or even how I've wanted to be a peacemaker because of his desire to find a path forward, but also a debater from my mother's energy. To me, the inspiration is clear and it's had a direct impact on my life. I hope that the love of learning that I gained as a child is something my children will also absorb and take to adulthood.

And this is where I want to set out my path for future generations. I want there to be descendants in the distant future who can come back and think on the fact that we paved a path for them to have the confidence to make their own way, to take their own risks, to show what love means to the people they are close to, and for them to be able to do the same going forward. To do great things in the context of the world they will live in, a world which may not resemble the one that I, my parents, or our ancestors grew up in. There will be new technologies and different politics, different fashions--but fundamentally humans with hopes, desires, frustrations, and dreams.

It's been way too long!

Hello friends of the blog!

It's been over 8 years since my last update. Shocking.

A lot has happened during this time and much is still to come.

I'm going to look to re-organise the content here and focus on the viewpoints that I've come to thanks to the life experience I've gained during the intervening time.

In addition to traditional blogging, which hopefully I will start up again soon, I'm looking to launch a website focused on being a repository of useful, actionable information that can help you be more successful in your projects. This will cover fashion (obviously), but also travel, green energy, technology, immigration, and other topics that may or may not be niche but should serve to help you enrich your life.

Additionally, I am going to be launching a website to unofficially represent Maryland interests in the United Kingdom--this site will contain information about recipes that are designed with ingredients and measurements appropriate to the UK to create Maryland favourites, information on commonly asked questions, as well as resources designed to enhance collaboration in both tourism and trade for both private individuals and businesses. If you have ideas and suggestions for this project, please submit them here!

In short, whilst the last several years with the pandemic have been a bit chaotic, now is the time to really gear up and start launching our potential going forward.

I hope you'll join me in these adventures and I look forward to being in touch with all of you!

Major Update: Just got Married!

Editors Note: As of 2022, the marriage is being dissolved. 

 

Dear readers, I know I have been way behind with this blog, but it is partly because my life has been particularly interesting and busy this last year! One of the things that has had me most busy recently was getting married at the beginning of July! 

I may have overly enjoyed telling people that because it was on the 4th of July that 'there would be fireworks', but it always had such a good ring to it. (no liberty bell pun intended)

Lisa and I were married at All Saints Church in Chevy Chase, Maryland

To our satisfaction, the weather was about as good as one can hope for in Maryland!

 

 Wedding party with Father Tom!

The reception was a few blocks away at the Courtyard Mariott:

 

For the first dance we used 'Miracles Happen' performed by Jonny Blu, as featured in 'The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement'

 

 

My best man, Kevin gave a great toast!

 

Lisa's sister Kelley, the maid of honor, gave a lovely toast as well!

 

And now we are on to many more adventures! 

Thank you to all our friends and family who have helped us become the people we are today. Whether it is by helping us through various parts of our lives and careers or introducing trials which have required us to rise to the occasion, you have been invaluable to us.

Special thanks to my friend Sara Roney of Roneyfield photography for the pictures!

I'm going to see about doing another post to cover the fashion and design aspects!

I'm Back From Europe Again!

So I ended up going back to France for the second set of exams and then I went to Bath and relaxed at the Jane Austen Festival!

I have so many things to post from this summer and my two trips to Europe this year. Now that the exams are over, I should have more time soon to catch up again!

Here's a teaser:

Cat, Ali, and Me after the Promenade at the Jane Austen Festival!

And I'm back!

Dear Readers,

So many things have happened lately! I don't even know where to begin!

I've spent almost three weeks in France and England a few weeks ago studying for and taking exams at the Sorbonne, made so many new friends, and had a lot of fairly life-changing revelations and good conversations.

Due to the stress and the craziness that hasn't yet completely settled down, I have been quite delayed and remiss in my blog writing.

Very shortly I plan to write blog posts on:

• Travel stories from England
• Travel stories and French family reunion in France... including visiting Lille and running into a protest
• Exams and awesome classmates I met while at the Sorbonne in Paris

Here are a couple pictures from my trip from DC to London to get us started:

This is a sculpture in the American Airlines terminal at JFK

If you look closely you will see the world's only MasterCard airport lounge! Apparently all you have to do is show your MasterCard and they will let you use their wifi and sofas. Staff are really friendly too!

You can barely see it: the TSA agent is excited about a drone that Brookstone is selling... (look closely between the salesman and the TSA agent). I was amused at the irony.

Panoramic shot during the flight... got to see some really beautiful sunset/sunrises 

And I arrived at Heathrow!

I also plan to catch up on the last 10 months of events I haven't yet gotten to writing about, while potentially interspersing more details about my previous European adventure in 2011. 

I also happen to get my grades on Tuesday, so either there will be lots of celebration or travel planning for another visit to Paris in September! 

Stay tuned!

Life Updates: 2013 Edition

Dear readers,

I want to update you on a number of developments as of late that are exciting in the last few months! I know that of late I've been very busy and haven't been keeping this as up to date as I would like to.

First, I've started a really interesting law program with the Sorbonne in France. Their law program actually starts in undergrad, so to get an LLM, I will end up doing about 5 years worth of classes. Conveniently, I managed to navigate the French educational bureaucracy and not only properly apply for the program but also get accepted. What I can tell you is that this isn't exactly a simple task. FYI, if anyone needs help understanding how the French system works, please shoot me a message... with enough research it's usually possible to sort out anything and figure out what they want. (My strategy is to always go for overkill and send them more stuff than they probably actually need.)

Some of you are probably wondering how I can study in France if I'm still living in Maryland. I'm taking classes offered by the Université Paris 1 Panthéon-Sorbonne by way of their distance law program called CAVEJ (Le Centre Audiovisuel d'Etudes Juridiques). More confusingly, I'm actually doing that program through the national distance learning administration (CNED... Centre national d'enseignement à distance).

To register for this was a multiple step process:

• Logged in online to the Sesame site and started the registration.
• Printed the copy of the Sesame documents and mailed in translated copies of my high school diploma and college transcripts, French legal papers, passport/ID card, etc.
• Waited for their response... which happily was that I was accepted!
• Then I had to complete the Administrative registration with the University of Paris.
• Once I sent in documents relating to my acceptance and a photo of myself, I received a student ID card and various related resources.
• To register for classes, I registered with the CNED, my proxy for dealing with the CAVEJ, which provides the distance learning classes.
• Why use CNED? When using CNED, you can do everything remotely, including signing up for classes (CAVEJ normally requires students to attend orientation in Paris) and you get more flexibility on turning in homework.
• In order to register with CNED, I needed to include the proof of acceptance at the the University of Paris and payment in Euros.
• I also had to fill out my report card with my information and mail it back to France along with stapled pictures and copies of all the acceptance documents again.
• To accomplish the classwork, I have a DVD of MP3 lectures, books that contain the handouts for the classes, and a reading list of background reference materials. Additionally, the CAVEJ has an online site with recordings of student seminars and additional materials from the professors and forums to discuss the subjects.
• The biggest difference from the US educational model I've been used to, is that the only grades that count are the final exams. The homework is merely a tool for you to practice, not something that is held against you. 
• In order to take the exams, I actually have to travel to Paris for the time of the exams. I will have to report back later to let you know how they are. There are 3 hour written exams on the main subjects (Things like Constitutional Law, Civil Code, etc.) and 1 hour oral exams on most of the other materials.
• Because I tend to be busy with all the things going on, I have a pattern of spending way too much on FedEx for priority international shipments... I've probably spent at least $250 in shipping stuff to France now... but I just recently discovered that as a USAA member, I can get a discount on this of potentially up to 36% on international shipping!
• You'll be annoyed to know that after spending all this money on shipping, red tape, books from Amazon.fr, and flying to Paris to take exams... I will probably still be spending less than the amount of money for a semester at a community college here in the US.

Anyhow, I'm fairly excited about this! As disorganized as I am, I'm listening to the lectures and I keep learning all sorts of random interesting tidbits about French and European law. Some of these include such things as:

• The third French republic was designed to be possibly turned into a monarchy, and as a result the President had fairly broad powers. (Actually, there wasn't even really a constitution... but that's a whole other topic.)
• There are a plethora of different levels of laws and regulations in the EU and France and an equal number of different types of courts. (Civil, Penal, Administrative, Business, Constitutional Council, EU treaty, EU Human Rights, etc.)
• France doesn't have one supreme court like the USA... it's actually got at least 3, depending on the subject of the dispute.
• The appeals process is completely weird. 
• Every person has the right to have their case judged a second time if they don't like the outcome.
• You can also appeal the judgment.
• If it's possible that the judge misinterpreted the law, the case can be referred to the Cour de cassation... they are the closest thing to a Supreme Court. However, they only rule on the interpretation of the law. If they disagree with the previous court's interpretation, they issue their own interpretation and refer the case to another lower court. That court doesn't have to follow the opinion of the Cour de cassation... so if you don't like their ruling, you can go back to the Cour de cassation and see if they disagree with the other court. If they do, they'll issue another opinion and refer the case to yet another lower court, which this time is required to follow the opinion of the Cour de cassation.
• Personal privacy is a core right and publishing personal details or even taking a picture of a person could land you in serious hot water if you don't have proper permission.
• For example: if a magazine gets an interview with a person, we can presume that they have permission to post details based on that interview and a picture of the individual. However, let's say they wish to do an article five years from now... they can't reuse previously published material from that first interview without fresh consent from the individual in question.
• If they don't, they can be fined (even punitively), the magazines could be confiscated, or the judge could require them to print a statement in a future issue based on a court order.

These are just a few things I can think of off the top of my head (and many of them are as a result, loose approximations). Honestly, I come up with something new and intriguing every time I listen to the lectures. A lot of the time my head is spinning because of the amount of exceptions or peculiarities to each subject. Apparently, it's not just me though... France actually has a court that exists to settle jurisdiction disputes between the civil and administrative courts. However, thankfully, the more I'm listening to courses, the more things are starting to turn into a system that makes sense and I'm looking forward to having a more complete knowledge in the next few months and years as the classes continue to progress.

The second piece of exciting news, is that I've started working for a really cool web design firm. I don't do anything coding or art related, but I help make sure that computers are running smoothly. I've been extremely busy since the day I walked in, because there is always something to do and it seems there is a new project every direction I look. I'm really enjoying being surrounded by art and design creatives, because to me that means a breath of life and fresh air. Also, there are many people who understand fashion and find it interesting. (In case you can't tell, I'm rather happy about this whole thing!)

Third, I'm continuing to grow as a person and have really been appreciating the efforts of my peers who grew up under similar fundamentalist backgrounds in helping me realize lies that I've believed for a long time and working on sorting out the truth from the pernicious legalism that seeks to make life a prison. I'll probably be blogging more on this and potentially doing some activism to help make sure the next generation has a better experience! I want to give a special shoutout to my friends Rachel L., Hännah, Caleigh, etc. whose blogs and personal conversations off the record have been extremely meaningful and enlightening to me. Also, my girlfriend has some very balanced perspectives, as she grew up outside the crazy bubble. While my experience was fairly non-extreme compared to many, a lot of similarities exist and I'm only now fully realizing how bizarre my sense of 'normal' has been warped with the proper comparison to common sense. I find that I'm also meeting all sorts of exciting new people and running into other blogs that are really brilliant!

The Problem with 'Wedding Style'

Dear Readers,

As you well know, I enjoy good quality style and follow a number of different sources. Probably my best source of inspiration is pinterest, where I follow about 985 people at the moment. As a result, I get to see a lot of content that people are posting in what is effectively a social cross-section, ranging from ordinary people, to businesses selling their products, to magazines and fashion editors.

One trend I've observed is that we have created a special category of clothing for weddings. What exactly is it that makes something a wedding dress, bridesmaid's dress, or attire specifically reserved for the best men? As far as I can tell, these are artificial inventions. This is why I do not have a specifically 'wedding' pinterest board.

Style is infinitely subjective, of course, but my gripe is twofold: the limitations on what weddings look like and secondly, the limiting of clothing appropriate for ordinary life. Just a few generations ago, most of the dresses available in wedding ranges would have been considered insufficiently formal and with good reason--most clothing sold under the guise of 'wedding' is not actually formalwear... most of it is cocktail attire or badly put together semi-formal attire.

Additionally, I personally find the whole bachelor/bachelorette party and excess wedding attendants as highly obnoxious, especially when they all wear matching clothes that often look clownish during the wedding ceremony.

Our first problem with understanding the situation is to recognize the traditional functioning of formalwear. The second problem is to understand the purpose of the wedding industry.

Formalwear descends from historic royal courts and people of visionary fashion design. Throughout the last few hundred years, seamstresses and tailors worked to improve their craft, producing elaborate and elegant attire for full court dress. Over the years, partly due to a shift in power from monarchies to democratic regimes, the goal of making life more elegant and beautiful was set aside in favor of the practical. Whereas dressing nicely in the royal system was seen as an honor, today it is considered by most as a burden, regardless of comfort. This has contributed over the last two centuries to a decline in formalwear. Additionally, if anyone has watched Downton Abbey, you would know that formalwear was eventually codified so that certain codes of dress could be adhered to in order to create a well ordered look. These dress codes have come to the present day in multiple forms that relate to the level of formality and/or the time of day. As a result, we have Morning dress until 6pm and Evening dress after 6pm. Additionally, we find that we have semi-formal and formal. Semi-formal does not mean cocktail, incidentally--it means black-tie. Formal similarly actually relates to white-tie and full court dress.

When a person goes to a wedding shop, they are confronted with a myriad of decisions. There are entire magazines and plenty of blogs online with an equal number of opinions. When you walk into a store, you are confronted with even more options, and a sales staff whose main goal is to sell you a product--which is usually whatever trends are being parroted by the industry. My goal here is to sort out what is what from a high level in order to create the opportunity to take a step back and rethink the whole concept. Why do people need to know what the industry expects them to buy? I personally believe, it is due to our overly casual lifestyles. In most circles, you will find that the overall majority of people have no clue how to put together a formal outfit. When people are instructed to dress up, with their experience often primarily in the jeans and t-shirt area, we find ill-fitting suits, shirts that have collars that don't lay flat, ties that look cheap, and all manner of other problems. You will usually notice certain executives, lawyers, and a few informed people as being the exception. (However, I believe that it is possible to dress well on a lower budget, as well.)

I therefore theorize that the wedding industry exists to inform the uninformed and collect their money. Because people usually don't know the first thing about dress, the wedding industry has the bar set fairly low. As a result, it is basically selling people a slightly upgraded version of prom wear and/or cocktail attire. Prom wear is not true formalwear: it is a modern mashup of things that were never meant to be put together. A man's formal waistcoat should never have 5+ buttons: this belongs on a lounge suit, which most people would know under the name of a 'business suit'. Formal waistcoats since the late 1800's have been supposed to be low-cut, in order to daringly show off the man's well-pressed and well-starched formal shirt. Additionally, these jackets, since the end of the Victorian era have been generally intended to be of a quiet color in order to crisply show off the black and white uniformity of men in a social gathering. Now of course, there is room to discuss ways to reintroduce color in formalwear for men, something that was the norm up until the mid 1800's. Unfortunately, I find the way the wedding industry has done it is completely cheesy.

As for women, we have decided somehow that white dresses are only for weddings (white used to be one of the most popular colors for dresses in all situations in the early 1800's) and that bridesmaids should all wear identical dresses, often shorter than the bride. This actually makes no sense. Dress length is directly related to the formality of an event... if your wedding is a formal event in the evening, why ever would anyone wear a gown that wasn't the proper length? It just looks awkward. When the maid of honor wears a floor length gown and the rest of the bridesmaids wear short ones, I find this especially tacky. While I agree it has become customary for wedding dresses to be the longest, there is no real reason why if the wedding is intended to be formal that the rest cannot also be full length. Continuing this, I believe there should be no such thing as a bridesmaid's dress. How is this any different than any other dress? Why would you only buy such a thing to participate in a wedding?

Why have we let an industry tell us that a particular set of garments are only for weddings? Why is it that we only dress up for weddings nowadays? Why can't we choose to enjoy elegance everyday and have more events that are capable of using these same clothes? Personally, I feel it is a huge waste to only wear nice clothing during weddings, since we could reuse many formal items if we held more balls and formal parties. I would also add that if we regained a habit of formal events, no one would put up with the rubbish that the wedding industry sells, because people with taste would want things that are actually worth wearing.

Moving on, if a wedding is a certain level of formality, why does the wedding party subscribe to an entirely different dress code oftentimes? I assume this is because it is more cost effective, but it actually doesn't make much sense. If the wedding party is wearing white-tie, why are the guests attending in cocktail attire? Cocktail attire isn't even actually formalwear. This happens regularly!

Returning to the definitions of formalwear... does anyone in North America know what Morning dress is? Most formal weddings in the United States wear tuxedos during the daytime. A tuxedo should NEVER be worn before 6pm. Instead, if the wedding is formal and during the day, the guests and wedding party should be informed to dress in Morning Dress. For men, this means wearing striped grey trousers, morning coat (aka cutaway coat), waistcoat (often double-breasted), and a necktie or formal ascot. Of course there are plenty of stylish variations on this, color being something that is celebrated in Morning Dress waistcoats and ties.

The reason I bring up these points, is not as much to offer a specific prescription to rigidly fix wedding dress. Instead, I write this because I want everyone to take a step back and think about the look they are trying to achieve. Don't fall for a cheesy stereotype, rather allow weddings to be natural and beautiful. Additionally, I think finding ways to make clothing useful for events throughout the year is important because it creates ownership, sustainability, and provides constant practice to help everyone improve their taste and understanding of clothing.

I want a world in which people are better dressed, more elegant, and better understanding of each other. Beauty is not something to be afraid of, instead it is something we learn and become through our practice of its principles. I encourage people to be more tastefully creative in putting together outfits when creating new/unique looks, or alternatively to stick with the models that have stood the test of time across the last 150 years: Morning Dress, Black-Tie, and White-Tie. Don't rent your formalwear: research and buy it so that you feel comfortable in it, find or create events to use it throughout the year, and in doing so you will make life here on earth more beautiful and glorious in the process.

Europe 2011: Part 12, Harington's Hotel, Review

I've stayed a good many places in Bath, England as I have the tendency not to plan my trips ahead of time. I often book the rooms the same day because I haven't made up my mind if I want to go visit another part of the country or stay in place. As a result, I usually end up paying more than the rooms should cost, but not hugely (I've usually gotten rooms for £70-140/night in doing this). I also find that I end up being unable to book more than 2-3 nights in one place, which means during a week I have managed to stay in as many as 3-4 different hotels and guest homes.

Thanks to this experience, I feel I can somewhat authoritatively discuss the pros and cons of different establishments. Over the next few years I will attempt to review all of the places I have stayed, in order for you to get a better picture of what is available in the city.

Entrance to Harrington's Hotel, as seen on Google's street-view.

Harrington's Hotel is a really cute place which stands out because of its good service, chic decor, and good location. Depending on the price in a given week, I would say that you will be getting a very well rewarded experience from the very friendly concierge, included amenities, and walkable nature of its location in central Bath. On average, however, I expect this place to run more expensive than some less-featured establishments, but they do run sales and promotions through the VisitBath website, which is how I booked it for two nights.

This hotel is conveniently located near:

• Vintage shop (scarletvintage, across the street as of 2011)
• Dry Cleaners/Laundry
• Jane Austen Centre (3 minute walk)
• Bookshop (Paragon Books)
• Food (5 minute walk to Sainsbury and restaurants in every direction)
• Bath Spa Railway Station (10 minute walk... unfortunately it is uphill, like everything else in the city from the railway station)
• Circus and Royal Crescent
• Theatre Royal (2 minute walk)
• Shopping (literally a block away from Milsom Street!)
• Pump Room and Roman Baths (3 minute walk)

Click to see enlarged map of location

Sitting at a small table in the bar area enjoying some quiet in the afternoon.

The hotel also offers wifi, which as you can see is extremely convenient!

The bar area has a very elegant, modern, and cozy feel to it. I have not sampled the drinks, but the convenience of an on-premise bar is something that not all places share in Bath. Should you wish to go out, there are plenty of walkable options nearby!

View from the bar looking into a lounge room that opens into the reception and concierge area.

Dining Room

Breakfast is served in the dining room which has vibrantly colored walls and modern leather seating. My recollection is that the food was quite enjoyable and the menu had most of the traditional breakfast items on it, British and otherwise. If you sit in the front room, you will find yourself looking at a cute vintage shop across the street (As of September 2011). Unfortunately, I did not have time to visit Scarlet Vintage during their store hours, but the display was certainly quite enticing!

scarletvintage shop in Bath, England

I believe my original room was upgraded when I arrived, because the room I received was much larger than I had expected. However, I anticipate that all the rooms are of similar elegance and refinement.

Bed with seat in front of it. Highly convenient setup.

More accessories, including chairs, dresser, and vanity.

This window opens out to the following view, which is a fairly quiet street removed from traffic:

Bathroom includes a heated towel rack radiator.

Also included,  bathtub with separate shower head on detachable hose.

In conclusions, I have no real complaints as I do not happen to be a demanding hotel guest and the hotel more than satisfied my needs when I was in residence. Neither the price nor the experience is exactly cheap, but I feel you will not be disappointed.

Consent Culture, Modesty, and Femininity

Dear Readers,

Please allow me to return to an issue I have covered before: modesty. While my more conservative circles of friends are still focused on the issue of ensuring female modesty, my more progressive friends are asking why there is no talk about consent, abuse, and respect of women.

Because I feel concerned about this discussion and because I do not want past posts to be considered lopsided on this blog (especially as my views have also changed through time... see here and here for older views), I want to cover this topic in a more holistic fashion. Most people discussing these issues have not bridged modesty and consent in a positive way... it's almost as though lack of modesty is seen as, 'asking for it,' when it comes to abuse or rape. From this and other behaviors we get the term, 'rape culture,' which suggests that we live in a society that marginalizes women, renders men irresponsible for their actions, and attempts to normalize objectification.

Let us begin by clearing up something: no matter how a woman or girl dresses, she is not asking to be hurt. Even if she is inviting our eyes she still has the right to be undisturbed in her person should she be uninterested in the advances of another. If a woman enjoys teasing men, it does not give anyone the right to abuse or coerce her into any act. (In a previous post I wrote, "A lady should never suggest that she is available for untoward purposes all day." For clarification, my intended meaning was to illustrate said attire as tasteless, rather than incitement for rape.) Furthermore, consent does not end at marriage: if a woman refuses a man's advance, he must wait. Women are not objects to be bought or sold, they are not the property of their husbands or fathers. Instead, I hold that women are beautiful, if perhaps fragile, creations that God has blessed the world with. It is in our respect of them that we men become worthy of our call to stand up for truth, beauty, justice, and creation. Men of worth are those who treat women, children, the elderly, the weak, etc. with honor and compassion.

Currently there is a good deal of confusion about gender roles and sexuality. I will cover the fashion elements of men's sexuality in a future post (the idea that men dress badly in order not to appear gay), but it does relate tangentially to this topic. Today's man often feels uncertain in modern society with the rise of women with more advanced degrees, the suggestion that more men lost their jobs during the recession than women, and the fact that some writers have questioned the utility of men. The wrong reaction to today's social trends is to attempt to instate patriarchy and control of women. Women are not to be feared, they are to be praised and encouraged! What we need to discover, is the answer to the meaning of the soul of man. That's why I believe that those who think that the definition of manliness is found entirely in sports, fitness, dressing poorly, GTL (Jersey Shore), military service, fighting/blowing up things, subjugation of the weak, objectification of women, etc. have it completely wrong. It's in the discipline of the soul, the discovery of beauty and the protection of the innocent that real strength and manliness is found. It is in this understanding of masculinity that we can work together with women to create a better, fairer society for all of us where we seek to encourage opportunity and success for everyone. Putting others down does not make us the better person, all that does is make us bullies; let's be above that!

Returning to modesty, it is true that the way a women (or in fact a man) dresses will affect the perception of those around them. It is for this reason that I encourage all people to dress with good taste. However, as I have stated in other articles, I hold the principles of beauty and elegance above the arbitrary conservative concept of modesty as merely involving covering up oneself to prevent lust.

To view modesty as a matter of preventing men (who apparently have no control over their actions) from lust is completely and utterly perverted. This suggests that men are debased animals without self-control, which directly implies that men are not responsible for their actions. If men are not responsible for their actions, then they need not worry about the protection of the their fellow human beings. In effect, this removes all expectations that a man should build his internal character like I discussed earlier. This is completely stupid and the most insipid amount of nonsense imaginable. Like I said in the beginning, no woman or girl deserves to be hurt.

Furthermore, why are we working so hard to prevent 'lust'? The only reason I could consider justifying the whole 'women must cover up to prevent sin' concept is if we were actually preventing a primary danger to society. The problem is that the concepts of beauty and lust have become so confused lately that out of fear of lust we have also blocked out beauty. God created us to enjoy beauty and he created men to desire women. To go against this is to fight against the natural order of creation. To desire that which is beautiful is not wrong in and of itself; however, to act upon said desires in a way that hurts others is definitely wrong. If a man seeing a beautiful woman becomes attracted to her and wants to have her physically against her will, the issue was not that she was attractive: the problem here is that he had no intention of respecting her in the first place because he does not see her as equally valuable. This goes back to my paragraph about what it means to be a man: appreciating beauty and protecting the innocent. Additionally, as a man I can assure you that choosing to enjoy what I see is much better for the soul than constant condemnation and guilt over concerns of 'lust':

I feel less confident I can accurately 'draw the lines', but I care less about this nowadays. My main goal is to treat women with respect and to enjoy beauty generally. As long as men aren't abusing women, are treating them with respect, and being careful to remember that women are equally important to men, I think we can stop worrying whether or not people are being caused to 'stumble'. In short: I'm done with the guilt-based culture that does not lead to any greater actual holiness. (Source: Recent facebook comment I made on a related subject.)

Returning to the concept of beauty, I would also add that personally I believe women are the most beautiful of all God's creation. As a result, the tasteful display of the human form is something that is quite enjoyable to look at. Again, tasteful is a concept that is difficult to entirely explain. Like I said before, décolletage is an example where some would see immodesty, but I see beauty. For reasons of taste, it is generally advisable to be careful that the overall 'skimpiness quotient' of a garment is not inordinately high. However, lower necklines, tight pieces of clothing, shorter skirts, etc. can all be at times part of very classy and tasteful outfits. The difference between inappropriate and appropriate, I believe has to be one of discernment and carefulness to pair the right situation and body-types with the right outfit at a given time.

Lastly, I want to briefly touch on the feminine. While I have become quite progressive in some ways as can be seen above, I still retain some vestiges of the past. My philosophy has been to let all ideas face the challenge of alternate viewpoints in order to determine if they stand up. There is no point in holding to an idea that is indefensible. As a result, I would volunteer that at least personally, when women dress in more traditionally feminine ways I find the contrast with men and the elegance resulting from good taste to be highly attractive. Is this a moral imperative? Will a woman go to hell for not having long hair and a skirt? Certainly not! I do not believe that God is judging people in that way. However, as an aesthete, I definitely enjoy the classically elegant woman. For this reason, I encourage all things that are feminine and pretty, partly because they are delightful and partly because I'm jealous that God didn't make me a woman to enjoy them myself. Let men have their own clothes... skirts, dresses, and all manner of feminine clothing look so lovely; to discard them in favor of traditionally masculine attire is to create a much more boring wardrobe!

To conclude: consent is the beauty of the practice of mutual respect, modesty should be the use of good taste in dress (not covering up simply to prevent lust), and femininity is lovely and delightful.